Authenticity is a sweet spot. It’s much more relaxing to feel free to “do you” than the energy it takes to wear a social mask every day. But being authentic is easier said than done because it requires you to feel comfortable in showing up as yourself. People are often held back by the stories they’ve been telling themselves about who they are throughout their lives.
I’m not good enough.
There is something wrong with me.
I’m unlovable.
People will leave me…
Before you can feel comfortable speaking freely, giving your opinions and being real with others, you have to do some work around identifying the belief systems that might be holding you back. Shame is often tied to negative belief systems, so it’s natural to want to defend against people seeing your “flawed” parts.
People are often surprised to realize how much being inauthentic takes a toll on them. It takes a lot of energy to be someone you’re not. Not only that, people will go to great lengths to avoid being truly seen. Conflict avoidance and people pleasing behaviors are common strategies to go along with others and divert from an uncertain sense of self.
Consider your ability to be authentic with others. Is inauthenticity holding you back from your true self?
I help people understand why they function the way they do and make deeper level change in individual therapy. Contact me to learn more.
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