Vulnerability is scary and for many, it's easier to go it alone than reach out to others. In fact, the ability to build a support team and use it, is a hallmark of resilience. Your "team" could be one person or it could be a slew. In my work, I've experienced men and women (it's…
Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
Marriages and relationships can sometimes drift off to sleep. This can happen when things start to get taken for granted, partners stop prioritizing each other and showing appreciation. I think the concept of spring cleaning can apply here too as just like your closets, windows or children's toy boxes need periodic attention, your relationship garden…
Oxytocin is an antidote to cortisol (hormone of stress). If you have a tendency to easily get emotionally dysregulated (really angry, really sad, really tense...) - or if you know someone else who does - this is for you.
Neuroscience has shown us that oxytocin puts the brakes on cortisol. In my Marin couples therapy work,…
I see many couples who are in a rut. They are buried by the chaos of life, family, work, social obligations, kids, school sports and taking care of the dog (or cat, or goldfish). The bottom line is that many of us are struggling with monotony and expected routines. As important as structure is to…
Why is there such a range in the way people react to events and situations? How is that one person can take things as they come while the other gets emotionally dysregulated and goes into a tailspin? Much in the way we respond comes from earlier experiences but if you break it all down, it's…
There are a number of signs that can point to a need to "get right" with yourself so you can be right in a relationship; a sense of desperation in relationship-seeking, your mood dependent on partner's mood, a tendency to pick partners who need to be "rescued," intimacy problems or a general lack of trust…