There are many ways people do relationships. At the end of the day, I subscribe to the notion "whatever works." But I find that a distress point for many couples in my practice is relationship balance. Relationship balance is the "you, me and we" parts of the relationship. Imagine two overlapping circles with the overlapping…
Considering your relationship, think about the countless choice points there are in a single day. We all have those moments where we can choose to act in one way or another, choose to say one thing vs another...
What are you doing with your choice points? Do they support or degrade your relationship? Or perhaps they…
Because we all look at the world through our own pair of unique eyes, it's not uncommon to have totally different experiences and perceptions of life. This is a result of many things but particularly the totality of our prior experiences. We learn and assign meaning to things as we go. The meaning might serve…
Consider how much the presence of absence of trust can impact your relationship? It's a critical element of what I often refer to as "emotional safety," that which ideally
allows for a safe haven in each other. John Gottman, PhD recently completed another in a long line of books about the research behind what makes or…
Marriages and relationships can sometimes drift off to sleep. This can happen when things start to get taken for granted, partners stop prioritizing each other and showing appreciation. I think the concept of spring cleaning can apply here too as just like your closets, windows or children's toy boxes need periodic attention, your relationship garden…
I see many couples who are in a rut. They are buried by the chaos of life, family, work, social obligations, kids, school sports and taking care of the dog (or cat, or goldfish). The bottom line is that many of us are struggling with monotony and expected routines. As important as structure is to…