Vulnerability is scary and for many, it's easier to go it alone than reach out to others. In fact, the ability to build a support team and use it, is a hallmark of resilience. Your "team" could be one person or it could be a slew. In my work, I've experienced men and women (it's…
Oxytocin is an antidote to cortisol (hormone of stress). If you have a tendency to easily get emotionally dysregulated (really angry, really sad, really tense...) - or if you know someone else who does - this is for you.
Neuroscience has shown us that oxytocin puts the brakes on cortisol. In my Marin couples therapy work,…
I see many couples who are in a rut. They are buried by the chaos of life, family, work, social obligations, kids, school sports and taking care of the dog (or cat, or goldfish). The bottom line is that many of us are struggling with monotony and expected routines. As important as structure is to…
Why is there such a range in the way people react to events and situations? How is that one person can take things as they come while the other gets emotionally dysregulated and goes into a tailspin? Much in the way we respond comes from earlier experiences but if you break it all down, it's…
There are a number of signs that can point to a need to "get right" with yourself so you can be right in a relationship; a sense of desperation in relationship-seeking, your mood dependent on partner's mood, a tendency to pick partners who need to be "rescued," intimacy problems or a general lack of trust…
Many people mistakenly believe that if they just shove their feelings into a box, they will go away and never bother them again. As logical this may seem on the surface, it's simply not true. Burying feelings may feel productive but they are still there and have a way of revealing themselves. They can lead…